


Roll Me Over

by HixyStix (GaiaMyles)



Category: Jericho (US 2006)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Mental Health Issues, Suicide Attempt, frank talk of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 12:17:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15949175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaiaMyles/pseuds/HixyStix
Summary: What happens when your soulmate is years older than you?  You hook up and then he spurns you.The soulmate/age difference AU no one asked for, but I wrote anyway.





	1. The Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Look, I don't know where this came from, except for an attempt to practice explicit scenes. It started out as that, at least, and became something very different.
> 
> You don't need to have read my Bill/Sarah behemoth trilogy to read this.
> 
> Thanks to betas [WarlockWriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WarlockWriter) (who also gets moodboard credit) and [PattyPixie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pattypixie).
> 
>  
> 
> UPDATE 2/11/19: This story has been originalized and published under the titled [What You Need](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07NLDR33X) as an ebook.

[ ](http://tinypic.com?ref=2ihmcqx)

 

Sarah pulled into Jericho after two long days on the road.  The area by I-70 was just like every other interstate exit: nothing but hotels and chain restaurants.  Once she got into town, she started seeing the character she remembered, particularly along Main Street.

Yeah, maybe here she could make a fresh start.

She was eighteen and running.  From who she used to be.  From the house fire that killed her parents.  From everything she left behind.

She’d left behind _everything_.  She’d stayed six months: long enough to sell the lot of land with its charred remains, collect the life insurance, and live through the shock of 9/11, but after that… well, there was nothing tying her down.  She should have been starting college this month, but that dream died with her parents.  So it was work for her – and maybe somewhere with a low cost of living.

And that meant Jericho, right now.  Surely here, she could find something fresh and new, far away from home – yet enough like places she’d been that it wasn’t strange and uncomfortable.

Sarah drove around town, just looking, until she ran across an older motel just off Main Street.  Most likely, it’d be cheaper and more convenient than the ones on the interstate.  Thankfully, the clerk didn’t hassle her about being under twenty-one, unlike the one from the night before in St. Louis.  She unpacked her suitcase and settled in for the night.

 

The next day, Sarah set out looking for jobs.  She’d searched online before she left, but the only places with online job listings were some of the chain restaurants and the mine, neither of which appealed to her.

So instead, Sarah set out walking down Main Street, filling out applications in stores and lawyer’s offices and even the town library.  Heading back to the hotel that afternoon, ready to get out of the late September sun, she spotted the Sheriff’s Department.

Huh.  She wouldn’t make a good deputy, but maybe they needed someone else on the 911 lines.  That’d be an interesting job – and one that might come with benefits.

She pulled the door open and stepped inside.  Three pairs of eyes turned to her – three deputies at their desks.

One ignored her and went back to his work.  The other two – a tall, large man and a shorter man – stepped up to the counter.

“Can I help you?” asked the taller one.

Sarah could tell he was looking at her like a child.  “Uh,” she stammered.  A great start.  She introduced herself instead.  “I’m trying to move to Jericho and I’m looking for a job.  I thought I’d ask about being a 911 dispatcher.”

The men looked at her skeptically.

“I’m eighteen, I promise,” Sarah said.  “I know I look young.”  She dug out her driver’s license to prove it.

“Why do you want to move _here_?” the other deputy asked.  Sarah looked at him and felt a jolt from somewhere deep inside her.  He was eying her suspiciously – did he feel the same thing, too?  He was easy on the eyes, she noted: hair she suspected would turn golden brown in sunlight and eyes to match.

“My parents died in a house fire six months ago,” she said, trying to sound appropriately sad when she was completely distracted.  “And I wanted to get away from Alabama, go somewhere completely different.  I remembered Jericho from a road trip my parents and I took a couple years ago and thought a small town sounded like a nice change.”

 

Bill studied this… this _girl_ closely.  He glanced at her ID and noted her name.  He’d have to run her through the database and see if he found a report from her parents’ death.  Her story was too pat.  Who remembered Jericho from a road trip?

Still, there was something about her.  He’d heard her say she was eighteen, but she was a young eighteen: thin but not skinny, brown hair with blonde highlights, and bright blue eyes.  He felt a strong jolt of attraction.

Bill shut that down immediately.  She was ten years younger, even if she was legal.

It didn’t stop the connection from being there.

Jimmy was talking and it took Bill a moment to come back to reality.  “I’m sorry?”

Jimmy gave him a strange look.  “I asked if you knew where Sara was.  That’s who she’ll need to talk to about applying.”

“She’s in the back,” Bill said.  “I’ll go get her.”  He tore his eyes from this new girl and heard Jimmy apologizing for him as he weaved through the desks.

He stuck his head in the Dispatch room.  Linda, one of their usual dispatchers, sat at the radio while Sara looked over her shoulder.  “Sara.  We got someone wants to talk to you about working dispatch.”

Linda glanced up at Sara.  “Oh, please.  Hire someone new.  We need more than three people to cover the entire week.  Some of us would like time off.”

Sara laughed.  “I’ll see what Dawes lets me do.  It’s always about the budget.”

Bill followed Sara to the front, feeling the same jolt when he saw that girl – Sarah, her name was Sarah – again.

Sarah was charming with Sara, just as she’d been with Jimmy.  Sara gave her a paper application, which she filled out right away.

While Sarah wrote, Bill surreptitiously ran a background check on her.  She was clean: no tickets, no trouble with the law.  He searched recent death certificates of Morgans in Alabama and found two.  A Jeff and a Karen, perfect ages to have been her parents, died in a house fire this last spring.  Electrical cause; no suspicion of arson.

Guess her story checked out after all.

“Where are you living?” Jimmy asked, making conversation while she finished the application.

“Don’t know yet.  Right now I’m at the Country Club motel, but I was going to start looking for apartments or places to rent as soon as I finished looking for jobs.”

Bill leaned against the counter and found himself talking before he knew it.  “The apartment below mine’s open.  Decent landlord, okay rent.”

Sarah looked surprised he spoke.  So did Jimmy.

Some partner.  Jimmy just stood there and let Bill give away exactly where he lived to a complete stranger.  An innocuous-seeming stranger that he felt a strange connection to, but a stranger nonetheless.  Cops weren’t supposed to do that.

Sarah smiled and it reached her eyes.  Bill melted a little on the inside.

“That sounds like a good place to start.  I’ll go check it out right after this.”

Sara took Sarah’s application, glancing over it.  “This looks good.  I’ll give it to the Sheriff and we’ll give you a call in the next couple days if he wants an interview.”

Sarah thanked her and left.  Bill watched her until she was out the door.

Sara walked by Bill, purposefully bumping his shoulder.  “Stop drooling.  She’s too young for you.”

 

Sarah tossed and turned in bed that night, thinking about that deputy.  Everyone had a soulmate that they’d feel irresistibly drawn to, she knew, but not everyone found them.  She’d always figured it was pretty much a crapshoot – but that tug she felt…  That was what people talked about feeling.  Or it sure seemed like it.

Could he really be her soulmate or was this just teenage infatuation?  She’d gotten crushes before, but usually on guys her age.  Did it even make sense that he’d be older than her?  How old _was_ he?

She didn’t even know his name.

 

 

Two days later, Sarah walked into the empty apartment the deputy mentioned, holding the keys, hoping this wasn’t going to get her into trouble.

The place was bare; she needed furniture.

She rented a U-Haul trailer in Goodland and drove to Denver early the next morning, home of the nearest IKEA.  Not her favorite furniture, but it fit her budget.

The deputy came out of his apartment that evening while she was trying to unload boxes.

“Hey,” he said, jogging down the stairs.  “Let me help you get that stuff in.”

Sarah was more than grateful for the help, especially since he finally introduced himself – Bill Koehler.  And yes, she noted, that pull towards him was still there.

“Did you buy a whole house’s worth?” Bill asked, looking into the trailer.

“An apartment’s worth,” Sarah said.  “I didn’t have any furniture left after the fire.  Just some clothes that survived smoke damage.  I stayed in a furnished apartment before I left town.”

“You didn’t buy stuff back home?”

Sarah shrugged.  “Just a pillow and blanket for last night.  I knew I wanted to get out of town and it was easier to travel light.  Wanted to make as clean a start as possible.”

Bill picked up one end of a large box and Sarah got the other.  “I can’t imagine just up and moving like that.  Sounds crazy to me.”

“Yeah, well, guess I’m crazy.”

 

Bill stayed until midnight, helping unload boxes and put together furniture.

“Where’s your mattress?” he asked, sitting on the floor resting after putting together the bed frame.

“On order.  I’m sleeping on the couch for a couple days.”

He looked concerned.  “You sure that’s okay?”

Sarah waved him off.  “I’ve slept on plenty of couches, generally by choice.  It’s nice to have something at your back sometimes.”

Bill knew what she meant.  It’d been too long since he’d slept with someone at his back.  Maybe a couch would suffice for him, too.

She glanced at the clock.  “Don’t you have work in the morning?”

“It’s Monday, my off day,” Bill explained.  “I’m off Sundays, too.”

“Good to know, in case I need more help,” Sarah said, grinning.

Bill felt a tug deep inside him whenever she grinned like that.  If only everything he said could make her smile.  “Yeah.  You know where to find me.  Upstairs, with my dog, doing nothing.”

There was that grin again.  What was it about her that pulled at him so?

“Dog person, huh?  I’ve always been more of a cat person, but I like some dogs.”

Bill shrugged.  “I guess I’m a dog person.  Never been around cats, so I don’t know.  I found Sadie in a parking lot a couple years ago.  She was just a puppy and I ended up keeping her.”

“Wow,” Sarah said.  “I’ve got a kind-hearted, handsome neighbor who is also a cop and a handyman.  Super Neighbor.  Any other hidden skills I should know about?”

Bill felt a blush rise in his cheeks.  He really needed to get away from her before he accidentally said something inappropriate.

“I need to get to bed,” he said, standing.

“Thank you for your help,” Sarah said.  “Maybe I’ll see you around.”

 

 

Sarah got two calls back from jobs – a cashier’s job at the Welcome Home Café and the 911 Dispatcher.

She hesitated because of Bill, but took the job at the Sheriff’s Department anyway.  The pay and benefits were impossible to pass up.

She picked up how the station worked pretty quickly.  The Sheriff was in Jericho because it was the biggest town in the county, but the county seat was actually up north in Fielding, which had its own cadre of deputies.  The Jericho deputies patrolled the town and southern half of the county while the Fielding deputies handled the northern half.  It wasn’t a set-up she’d seen before, but it seemed to work well.

In Jericho, there were six deputies, working three shifts in pairs, plus the Sheriff.  Working the day shift with Sarah were Bill and his partner Jimmy Taylor.

Every day, there was that pull to be close to Bill.  She worked hard not to flirt with him or accidentally touch him.

She thought she did a pretty decent job of it until Linda told her to cool it with the moony eyes.

“Honey, all these guys are too old for you.  You should be looking at the community college or at clubs in New Bern, not here.”

Sarah turned bright red, but she took Linda’s words to heart.  She controlled her staring and got to work.

 

 

Work was hard, but home was harder – knowing Sarah was just downstairs.  Bill’s shifts ended earlier on work days and often found himself outside with Sadie around the time Sarah got home.

And then sometimes he’d grill out steaks and invite her up for one.  She’d sew on a button or a patch for him when his uniforms needed attention.  He asked her to watch Sadie while he visited his sister.  She asked him for help with her car when it acted up.

They were very careful to be casual around each other, at least for that first year.

Then Sarah complained about having to drive to Goodland to get her oil changed.

 

“I can change it for you, if you want,” Bill offered one night as they chatted outside.

Sarah shook her head.  Her now all-brown hair cascaded in front of her face and Bill almost reached out to brush it back.  “I know _how_ to. I just don’t have the tools or a good place to do it.”

Bill paused, thinking.  “I’ve got the tools at my house,” he said carefully.

“You’ve got a house?” Sarah asked, confused.

“Well, it was my grandparents’ house.  I’m in the process of buying it from my uncles.”

“Why don’t you live there instead of paying for an apartment?”

Good question.  “It just feels weird being in a house alone,” Bill admitted, leaning against his porch railing.

“So you’d let me use your stuff?” Sarah asked.

“Under supervision,” Bill joked.  “Or I can do it for you,” he offered again.

“Can I take you up on that Sunday night?”

“Sure thing,” Bill said.  He was almost confused by how easily he told Sarah all his secrets.  No one else at work knew about the house; no one but Jimmy.

 

Sarah wiped her hands on the rag Bill handed her.  “Thanks for letting me come over and use your garage.  I really appreciate having a place to change my own oil.”

“Anytime,” Bill said slowly, staring at a smudge of grease on her cheek.  He reached out to wipe it away.

There was something almost electric when he touched her and it scared him.  Bill was too old for her: ten years was a big difference at her age.

Sarah reached up and caught his hand, staring in his eyes.  Bill was frozen, noting yet again just how blue they were.  She blinked, turned her head, and kissed the palm of his hand.

Bill choked.  He pulled his hand back and hers came with it.  “Sarah…  If I were younger…”

“But you are young,” Sarah said.  “And I’m plenty old enough.”

“It would still be wrong,” he said, but he didn’t let go of her hand.  Why wasn’t he letting go and running away?

“Bill,” and a chill ran through his body when she said his name, “it would be a travesty not to.”

She took a step forward, close enough that Bill could smell the floral shampoo she used.  His knees were weak and so was his resolve.  He brought his other hand up and brushed it through her hair.

Oh God, he wanted this.  He wanted her.  He’d wanted her from the moment he saw her last year but this was wrong, oh so wrong.  He was twenty-eight, almost twenty-nine and she was barely nineteen…

What was it that drew him to her?  He’d never been attracted to girls much younger than him before.

Sarah stood on her toes and kissed his cheek lightly.  Bill couldn’t stop himself: he turned and caught her mouth with his.  As if she’d been waiting for that sign, she pressed against him, almost hungrily.  Bill felt himself stir, rising to press against her and no, he couldn’t have that.

Bill pushed her away.  “No,” he said, voice hitching.  “We can’t do this.”

“We just did,” Sarah said.  “You did.  I liked it – and I think you did, too.”

He had.  Oh, he had.  But he couldn’t.  He–

She stepped in close and reached up to kiss him once more.  He couldn’t help but respond when her mouth opened for him.  Before he knew it, his hands were wrapped around her waist, thumbs sneaking under her butterfly tee and onto bare skin.

“Please,” she said, right up against his mouth.  “Keep going.”

Against his better judgment, Bill did.  He ran his hands up under her shirt, cupping and squeezing her breasts through her bra.

He realized she was undoing his pants moments before she pushed them down off his waist.  He was straining to escape his boxers and Sarah grinned.  She removed his hands from her breasts and slid to her knees in front of him.

Oh God, was she going to…?  Yes, she pulled down his boxers and he stood at full attention, achingly engorged.  Sarah wrapped one hand around his base and licked the underside of his penis.

It felt so good, he could cry.  He gasped instead and groped at her hair.

A sudden thought pierced through his lust-addled brain.  “Sarah,” he breathed.  “Have you ever…?”

She pulled back and looked up at him, not letting go.  Her eyes were as wide as Bill knew his must be.  “First time.  For everything.  Tell me if I’m doing okay.”

Bill shuddered in pleasure as she licked him again, base to tip.  “Oh yes, darlin’, you’re doing wonderful.  But we’re not doing it like this.”

“Can’t stop now,” Sarah said, her breath warming the wet stripe she’d left on him.  “Don’t want to stop.”

“I didn’t say stop,” Bill said, reluctantly pushing her back.  “I said not like this.  Not in a garage.”

He stood her up and kissed her.  If he was going to Hell, he was going to make it worth it.  “The bedroom,” he said.

He took her hand and led her through the house, his pants in his other hand.  He dumped them on the bedroom floor and pulled Sarah to face him.  “Hold still,” he instructed.

Bill gently took off her tee, exposing the lacy cream bra she wore, and helped her out of her jeans.  Oh God, she’d worn a matching set.  Did that mean she’d planned…?

“You get your bra.  If this is still what you want.”  He took off his own shirt and kicked off his shoes, standing bare before her.

“Oh, I want,” she said, looking at him hungrily.

How could she want him?  Bill didn’t know.  All he knew was that he had a nineteen year old virgin standing before him, asking to be taken.

Where were the porno cameras?  This couldn’t be real life.

But it was.  Sarah slipped out of her panties and Bill could just about smell her desire.  Oh, he was going to explore that.  He pushed Sarah back on the bed and forced her legs apart.

“You tell me what I’m doing right,” he said before diving in.

Sarah squirmed as he licked all around her, thighs and all, and gasped when he shoved his tongue inside her.  He replaced his tongue with a couple of fingers and began gently lapping at her clitoris.

“Oh!” she said, almost surprised.  “There is… there is very good!”  Her voice upticked at the end as he licked harder and faster.  She twined a hand in his hair, holding him right there.  He wasn’t complaining – it’d been too long since he tasted a woman.  Maybe that’s why he’d been so weak.

A few minutes of concentrated attention seemed to do the job.  She writhed on the bed, pulling his hair, but he didn’t mind.  He was able to pull away from her quickly enough to watch her face as she came down from the orgasm.

Beautiful.  He couldn’t believe he was about to do the next part.

He gave himself a couple quick pumps with his hand to get harder again – not that he needed much encouragement.  He climbed on the bed and poised himself at her entrance, one hand still lightly tracing the area.  “You tell me to stop,” he said.  “And I’ll stop.”

“Don’t stop,” she said.  “Keep going,”

He did.

He pressed into her and oh, she was so slick he just slid right in.  Bill gasped, pausing when he was in as far as he could go.

Sarah echoed him, gasping herself.  “Move,” she whispered.  “You feel so good.”

Bill pulled out most of the way and slid back in, quickening his pace every time he did so.  With every stroke, he hated himself a little more, but it felt wonderful.  He had to concentrate to hold back his orgasm, hoping he could get Sarah off one more time before he–

Too late.  He shuddered and came.  Inside her.  Oh, shit.

“Oh!  I feel that,” she said, sounding unsteadily curious.

“I’m sorry,” Bill said, still feeling the last twitches of his orgasm.  “I should have pulled out.”

“Birth control,” Sarah said.  “I’m on birth control.”

Thank God.  Bill rolled off of her, flopping loosely on the bed.  His joints felt like jelly.

What had he just done?  And in his grandparents’ house, no less.

As soon as his limbs worked again, he got up and tugged on his pants.

Sarah sat up and he tossed her clothes on the bed.

“You need to get dressed and get out of here,” he said brusquely.

“What do you mean?” she asked, sounding hurt.

“We shouldn’t have done that.  It can’t happen again.  You need to leave before someone thinks you’ve been here too long.”

“Bill…”

He turned on her.  “No, I’m serious.  This was a mistake.  A very wonderful mistake, but still a mistake.”  He ran a hand through his hair and changed his tune a little.  “I’m so sorry.  I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you like that.”

“I wanted it,” Sarah said.  “How is that taking advantage of me?”

“Because you’re nineteen and beautiful and should be seeing guys your own age, not ones who are ten years older than you.”  Bill paced the room.

Sarah reached out to him, but he didn’t take her hand.  “Bill…  I don’t want a guy my age.  I want you.  I have since we met.”

“You can’t,” Bill said firmly.  “This is the only time this happens, you hear?”

She nodded sadly and slowly put on her clothes.

Bill couldn’t help but watch.

 

 

He’d put his foot down, but not very hard.  Sarah stole up to his apartment after dark the next night and pushed past him when he opened the door.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, closing the door behind her.  “You shouldn’t be here.”

“Missed you at work today,” she said, pressing up against him.  “Thought I’d come by.”

“Oh no,” Bill said, gently pushing her back.  “I said no.”

“You said no to sex.  You didn’t say no to spending time with me.”

“I’m about to go to bed,” he argued.  “See?  In pajamas already.  I have to get up at four-thirty for my shift.”

“Great!” Sarah said.  “Let’s sleep together.”

“Whoa.  You’re trying to move a little quickly here.”

Sarah pouted.  “How can we move quicker than we already did?  I just want to be close to you, is all.”  Now that they’d given in to each other, she wanted nothing more than to be near him all the time.  It was almost breathtaking when he touched her.  “You can’t tell me you don’t want the same.  You feel it too, don’t you?”

Bill shook his head, biting his lip.  “I said we can’t.”

“That didn’t answer my question,” Sarah said.

Bill sighed.  “Okay, yes.  I feel it, too.  It’s like my hair stands on end whenever you’re around.  But you’re too young.  Maybe, when you’re older…”

“How old is going to be old enough for you?” Sarah asked.  “Am I ever?”

“When you’re twenty-five or thirty?” Bill said questioningly.  “I don’t know.  I just know now, you’re too young.”

“I’m not, though,” Sarah said.  “I’m three years past legal age.  I’ve lived on my own a year, held a full time job for a year now.  I’m mature enough to do those things – and to sleep with you – but not to be around you again?”

Bill groaned.  Sarah was not giving up, though.

She reached out and grabbed his arm.  He jumped at the contact.

“You feel it.  I feel it.  Nobody else has to know.  Just let me stay the night.  I won’t try anything.”

Bill gave her a sad look.  “I can’t guarantee I won’t, if you’re that close.”

She stood on her toes to kiss his cheek.  “Good.”

 

Bill behaved himself that night, though it’d been hard when she rolled over and cuddled with him in her sleep.  All he’d done was pull her tight and kiss her head.

Waking up to find her still in his bed – not a dream – was the best morning he’d had in years.  He leaned over and kissed her forehead.  “Sarah, you have to get up.  I have to get ready for work.”

She stretched and sat up, watching him climb out of bed.  “What on Earth made you take the early morning shift?” she asked.  “Don’t you like sleeping in?”

“I used to,” Bill said.  “But I get out at three or three-thirty now and that gives me some daytime to get things done.”

“I guess that’s practical.”

“It’s very practical,” Bill said, getting dressed.  She’d already seen him naked, so why be shy now, he thought, pulling on a new pair of boxers.  Out of the corner of his eye, he caught her watching appreciatively.  He grinned.

“I see that,” Sarah said.  “You don’t entirely mind having me here.”

Bill sat on the bed to pull on his socks.  “No, I suppose not.”

She crawled to sit next to him.  Bill couldn’t help it: when she looked at him, he leaned in for a kiss.  This time it was sweet and simple, and Bill loved it.

He’d given thought to the soulmate theory growing up and dismissed it.  His parents weren’t soulmates and they’d gotten along just fine.  Jimmy and Margaret weren’t.  His grandparents said _they_ were, but he’d always thought it was just stories.  He couldn’t quite bring himself to believe _he_ had one, much less one ten years his junior, but…  Well, there was something he couldn’t deny.  But he needed to.

He and Sarah stayed for a second, foreheads touching.  “This was it,” he said.  “You can’t come back tonight or any other night.”

She looked hurt.  “You didn’t sleep well with me here?”

“Oh, I slept plenty well,” Bill said, and it was the truth.  He could swear he slept deeper with her snuggled in next to him.  “But it’s still not right.”

“It’s still not right?” she repeated.  “Why do you keep saying it’s wrong?”

Bill huffed.  “Because it is, okay?  And because we’ve got to work together and I can’t have you distracting me every time I’m in the office.”

Sarah grinned.  “I’m in another room.  You don’t ever have to see me if you don’t want to.”

“That’s the thing.  If we keep this up, I’m going to want to.”

“Bill, you’re the one who kissed _me_ just then.  Kinda undermines your argument.”

She had him there.  “Just… don’t come back tonight, okay?”

 

 

Jimmy knew.  Bill was sure of it.

He was practically sweating in the passenger seat of the patrol car, sure that Jimmy knew what he got up to over the weekend – _who_ he got up to.

Jimmy’d known he was attracted to Sarah.  He’d picked up on that the first day.  He’d even mentioned it to Bill, but only to comment that Sarah acted like she had a crush, too.  “Bad idea, Bill.  Workplace romances don’t end well.  And she’s way too young for you.”

But Jimmy had been silent all day, strange for him.  Did he know?

Bill was definitely paranoid about this.  What if someone found out and thought he was just a lech?  That he’d taken advantage of her?

What if he actually _had_?

“Bill?  Buddy?  You okay?” Jimmy asked.  “You look worked up about something.”

“I’m okay,” Bill lied.  “Just didn’t sleep well.”

“Don’t tell me you’re not coming to dinner tonight.  Margaret’s planning on you being there and you know how much Woody likes to climb on you,” Jimmy joked.

Bill relaxed and grinned.  Casual conversation.  He could do this.  “Nope, I’m gonna be there.  Can’t let your little monkey down.”

 

 

Sarah knew Bill usually came home late on Tuesdays – he had standing dinner plans with the Taylors, who apparently thought he didn’t eat enough on his own.  Sarah figured that was the cause of Bill’s oh-so-slight paunch, which she was dying to touch again.

As dusk approached, she grabbed a book and sat out on her patio, waiting for Bill to drive up.  She didn’t have to wait long.

He stopped in front of her, shoulders slumped in defeat.  “You’re following me upstairs, aren’t you?”

“If you want me,” Sarah said.  She’d give him the choice today.  Tomorrow was for her, though.

He gulped.  “I do,” he said after a few seconds.  “God help me, I do.”

“I’ll be up in a minute,” Sarah promised, closing her book.

She changed into pajamas this time and ran barefoot in the cold up to Bill’s apartment.  She rapped on the door quietly.  He grabbed her and pulled her in.

“We can’t let people see us,” he said.

“I don’t think anyone else was outside.”  Sarah reached up to kiss him and he was welcoming this time, wrapping his arms around her.

“I see you dressed to impress,” he joked when they pulled apart.

Sarah looked down at her oversized tee and plaid pajama pants.  “Well, if you don’t like them, you can always take them off.”

Bill blushed a little when she said that.  She found it adorable.

“I…  I’ve got to go walk Sadie,” he said.  “You wait here.  Uh, make yourself at home.”  He hung his hat on a hook by the door and grabbed the leash hanging next to it.

“You know, if you gave me a key, I could walk her for you on Tuesdays,” Sarah said, trying to be practical.

“I’ll think about it,” Bill said hurriedly, clipping the leash to Sadie and heading out.

 

If Bill thought the walk would clear his head, he was wrong.  Sadie didn’t give him much time before she did her business and tugged to head back home.

Home.  Where he had a very lovely – even in her pajamas – girl waiting for him.  The thought was at once pleasing and terrifying.

He had to come to his senses about this.  Either he needed to give in and let Sarah into his life or he needed to be firm about stopping.

He didn’t want to stop.  But he couldn’t imagine publicly dating someone so young.  Jericho judged, especially the Sheriff’s Department.  And his parents.  And if he tried to argue they both felt that soulmate pull, he’d get accused of using it as an excuse.

Maybe…  Maybe they could just keep it on the down-low until she was older.  Next year, maybe.

Bill opened the door to his apartment, not knowing what he’d find, but Sarah was just curled up on the couch with a mug of hot chocolate.

“You had it out on the counter.  I hope you don’t mind.  There’s enough hot water for you, if you want me to make you some.”

Bill relaxed – he’d half expected to find her waiting for him naked.  This was better.  This he could work with.

“Yeah,” he said.  “That sounds good.”  It was hardly cold outside, but he could drink hot chocolate if that’s what Sarah wanted.

While Bill hung up the leash, she went into his kitchen like she really was at home and mixed him a mug of the powder.  “Do you top yours off with milk?  I do.”

Bill had never thought to.  “I’ll try it,” he said, plopping onto the couch.

Sarah nodded and splashed some milk into his mug.  She handed it to him carefully and he set it aside to cool.  She sat on the couch facing him with her own mug.

He reached a hand out to Sarah and she took it, sending a shiver through his body.  “Listen…”

“I know,” Sarah said, rolling her eyes.  “I’m too young, you’re too old, this is wrong, blah blah blah.”

Her sarcasm was infuriating, but somehow it made him want her all the more.  “No, not what I was going to say.”

She raised her eyebrows, looking at him over her mug.  “Oh really?”

“I was going to say that we can’t go public – too many issues there – but we can do this.”

“This, you mean me spending time with you or me spending the night?”

“You staying the night.”  Bill bit his lip.  “And more.”

“But we can’t go public…”  She looked sad suddenly.  “Bill, do I embarrass you?”

“No!” Bill said, shaking his head.  “ _I_ embarrass me.  I feel like a lewd old man when I’m with you.”

“When you’re _with_ me?” Sarah asked.  “Or when you’re _not_ with me and you think about me?”

“The second one,” Bill admitted.  “But I can’t deny there’s a pull between us.  I don’t want to deny it anymore.  I want you.”

“I want you, too.  However I can have you,” Sarah said.  “Even if that means sneaking around like we’re ashamed.”

“Sarah, I…”

“It’s okay.  You can admit you’re ashamed.  You have already when you tried to get me to go away.”

“You didn’t listen, though.”

“My parents always encouraged me to be persistent in getting what I want.”

Somehow, Bill suspected a twenty-eight year old boyfriend was not what they meant.

 

 

The next morning, Sarah woke at four, when her phone buzzed silently under her pillow.  She extricated herself from Bill’s grip and watched him sleep for a bit.  He was such a personality when awake, how could he look so delicate when he slept?  She fell for him a little more, watching him breathe.

She very carefully took off her pajamas and tossed them to the floor.  The movement woke Bill.

“What’re you doin’?” he asked blearily, looking at the clock.  “It’s not–”

Sarah leaned over him and kissed him, shutting him up.  “I was hoping to do _you_ ,” she said softly.

“Oh.”

Sarah ran her hands up under his tee, feeling the muscles of his chest.  She kissed that little paunch and then yanked on his boxers.  Bill raised his hips to let her.

He wasn’t hard yet, still waking up, so Sarah decided to try some things.  She was still learning, after all.  She kissed the hollows of his hips and nipped at the skin a little, making him jump, but his erection grew and she knew she’d found something he liked.  She grinned to herself.

She scooted down in the bed and got between his legs to finish what she’d started in the garage two days ago.  She licked around his base, getting a feel for his size and knew she’d never be able to fit him all in her mouth.

“Oh, Sarah, oh, babe, you don’t have to–”

“I want to,” she interrupted, and slid him into her mouth, just a little.

Bill bucked at the contact and she wondered what it felt like for him.  She started stroking him in time with her head bobs, unsure of what else to do.

Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Bill gripping the sheets, eyes closed.  “Oh, babe.  Oh, babe,” he repeated.  She must be doing something right.

She bobbed a little faster, wrapping his underside with her tongue each time she came up.  She also tried stroking the inside of Bill’s thighs and his legs started trembling.

Wasn’t this supposed to be a chore?  How come she was loving it so much?

Bill gasped for breath and said, “Stop, stop.”

Very slowly, Sarah slipped him out of her mouth with a pop.  “What did I do wrong?”

Bill sat up and hugged her.  “Nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  I just didn’t want to come in your mouth your first time.”

“And if I wanted you to?” Sarah asked coyly.  She wasn’t sure she did, but she was going to try.

“Then we’ll do that later.  Right now, you need to sit up here.”  Bill helped wrap her legs around his waist and positioned himself to enter her.  “You ready?”

Sarah kissed him in response and scooted down, taking him in.

Bill lay back down on the bed.  “Your turn to move, darlin’.  And you might want to help yourself along because I’m not going to last long,” he said as she started moving up and down.

This was good thigh exercise, Sarah noted, and took Bill’s advice, rubbing herself at the same time she moved on Bill.

Bill bit his lip and grunted.  He grabbed her waist and made her move faster – fast enough she had to steady herself with a hand on his chest.  She lost the rhythm for herself, and just focused on bringing Bill to orgasm.  She’d planned this morning for him, after all.

She squeezed her muscles tight on every upward stroke, making Bill inhale sharply.

“Sarah…” he said.  “I’m gonna–”

“Come,” she finished for him, turning it into an order.

Bill obeyed and Sarah sat as far down as she could on him, enjoying the sensations once again.  When he quit twitching inside her, she rolled off him, landing on one of his arms.

He squeezed her tight and they both lay there a minute, breathing hard and recovering.

“Did you…?” Bill asked finally.

“No,” Sarah said truthfully, “but that’s okay.”

Bill pulled his arm out from under her and rolled on his side.  “No, don’t you start thinking that.  It’s not okay.  You should get just as much out of this as I did.”  He reached down between her legs and started tracing around her clitoris, coming closer each time.

Sarah squirmed at the teasing touches.  “But I had fun,” she protested, gasping for breath as he finally started massaging her.

“And you should have more,” Bill said huskily.  He ducked down and replaced his hand with his tongue, lightly lapping at her.

Sarah moaned and twined fingers in his hair – so soft and so fluffy to the touch.  She tried not to pull, but it was hard when he was making her twitch as she got closer to coming.

It didn’t take long for Sarah to cry out, muffling her yelp with her hand.  “Bill!”

He looked up, with a satisfied expression on his face.  “There,” he said.  “That’s what you should expect every time.  One way or another.”  Bill wiped his mouth and crawled up to kiss her forehead.

“So did I do okay?” Sarah asked.  She hadn’t been self-conscious the first time, but this second time she was afraid Bill expected more from her.

Bill collapsed next to her.  “Babe, you were damn near perfect.”

Sarah couldn’t help but smile.

 

 

It became habit for Sarah to sneak up to Bill’s apartment after dark and go back to her own before sunrise, when Bill left for work.

Some nights they talked until the early hours, some nights they curled up with a movie, but some nights – and most mornings – were punctuated with sex.

They exchanged keys and Sarah walked Sadie when Bill was going to be home late.

It was almost domestic.  If domestic was X-rated and secret.

They did their best to hide it at the office – no lingering glances, no casual touches – but slowly word got out anyway.

The first rumor came from Riley, who made a crack about both Bill and Sarah looking particularly happy in the mornings.  Before long, all the deputies were teasing Bill about his “girlfriend”.

From what he could tell, they didn’t actually _know_.  They’d been looking to rag him about Sarah since the first day she started working and Bill stared.

Jimmy knew, however.  Bill was sure of it.

He never said anything, but Jimmy knew how to read Bill better than anyone else.  He’d seen Bill in relationships before.  He knew the attraction was mutual, unlike the rest of the jokers they worked with.  Bill didn’t know what Jimmy’s silence on the matter meant, though.  Did he disapprove?  Would he understand?

He still ate dinner with the Taylors every Tuesday night.  Bill lived in fear that Margaret would find out and tear him a new one.  But she acted as if nothing was different.

But Bill _felt_ different.  That tug he’d felt toward Sarah initially was still there, but it was muted as they spent more time together.  He felt light and almost giddy and… well, almost in love.

That realization terrified him.  How could he be in love with someone he couldn’t go in public with?

 

 

One night in late October, Bill went to Bailey’s with Stanley.  Bonnie was at a friend’s house, so it was the perfect chance for Stanley to get away from the farm and watch the Jayhawks game with his best friend.

One problem: Bill forgot to tell Sarah that Stanley was coming home with him to sleep off the beer.

 

She was going to surprise him tonight.  Sarah had gone to New Bern on her day off and picked up some lingerie.  She finally had someone to wear it for; why not?

Tonight, she expected Bill would have had a drink or two, watching the game, but he wouldn’t be drunk.  He would still be alert enough to appreciate her.

So Sarah walked Sadie, then changed into the lingerie and waited on the couch.  She hoped Bill would like the surprise.

 

Bill helped a stumbling Stanley up the stairs and was surprised to find his door already unlocked.  He’d have to remind Sarah to lock it back after walking Sadie.

The door swung open and Bill almost dropped Stanley.  There, on his couch, was Sarah – in a dark blue teddy and practically see-through panties – asleep.

Shit, she must have been waiting for him.

_He_ must have cursed out loud because Sarah woke.  She about fell off the couch when she saw Stanley and tried to cover herself with a throw pillow.

“Bill,” Stanley slurred.  “Why d’you have a girl in your apartment?”

Sarah, a horrified look on her face, dashed into Bill’s bedroom where her clothes were.

Mortified, Bill said.  “Nothing, Stanley.  It’s nothing.  Come sit on the couch while I get you some water.”

As soon as Stanley was settled, Bill found Sarah in his bedroom.  “What were you doing?” he hissed.

“Trying to surprise _you_ ,” Sarah whispered back.  “I didn’t know you were bringing someone home.”

Bill covered his face with his hands.  “I should have texted you.  I didn’t think you’d come over until I got home – and that you’d hear I had someone else with me.”

“Well, you didn’t!”  Sarah pulled her pants on.  “How’m I going to get out of here?”

Bill racked his brain.  “I guess you can either just stay in here until he leaves in the morning or you can sneak out by him.”

Sarah paced the room.  “Maybe he’ll forget it if I hide.  He’ll just think it was a drunken vision or something.”

Bill knew Stanley was sharper than that.  “Maybe.  But not likely.”

“So my best bet is to run?”

“Probably,” Bill nodded.  “While he’s still this drunk, you should go.”

Sarah kissed him, gripping the hair on the back of his head.  “You warn me next time.”

“I will if you wear that same thing tomorrow night,” Bill said.

Sarah stifled a laugh.  Grabbing her apartment keys from the bedside table, she dashed through the den and out the door.

Bill checked on Stanley, hoping he’d fallen asleep but no such luck.  He was wide awake and grinning.

“You got a girlfriend and didn’t tell me, Bill?”

“Stanley, that was nothing.”

“That was an almost naked girl on your couch.”

“You’re imagining things.”

“ _You’re_ lying.”

Bill rolled his eyes and got Stanley that water.  “Now come on, you can watch TV if you want, but we’re getting up early in the morning so I can take you by to get your truck.”

Stanley nodded, grinning sloppily.

 

Bill woke at four the next morning and startled.  Stanley was standing by the bed, looming over him.  His arms were crossed and he looked unhappy.

“I know who that was,” he said.

“Good morning to you, too.”  Bill sat up.  “Who what was?”

“That girl here last night.  Jimmy told me about that teenager at the station who likes you and lives in this complex.  You’re sleeping with her, aren’t you?”

“Stanley, I–”

“She’s only five years older than Bonnie, man.  What got into you?  I mean, do I have to worry about you with Bonnie now?  Or when she turns sixteen?”

Bill turned red.  “Damn it, Stanley.  You know I wouldn’t do anything like that.”

“Do I?” Stanley shot back.  “She’s practically a minor and you slept with her.”

“She’s not a minor,” Bill argued.  “She’s nineteen.”

“ _Nineteen_ , Bill,” Stanley said.  “Do you hear yourself?  A _teenager_.  And you’re what?  Playing house with her in your apartment?”

“Damn it, Stanley.  This is why I didn’t tell anyone I was seeing her.”

Stanley pulled a face.  “’Seeing her.’  Like you’re actually dating and not just screwing her.”

“Stanley!” Bill said, raising his voice.  “I’m not just…  I’m not just screwing her.  There’s something there.”

Stanley’s disgusted face didn’t change.  “What?  You’re going to tell me she’s your soulmate or something.”  Stanley turned his head and looked away.  “Whatever, man.  Just get dressed and take me to my truck.”

 

Bill got ready in record time and dropped Stanley off in silence.  He arrived at work thirty minutes early, so he sat at his desk and thought.

Stanley was the first person to know for sure about Sarah and the reveal went _terribly_.  He was more certain than ever that he had to hide their relationship from the world.

But how long could that last?

Should he just go ahead and tell Jimmy?  Jimmy, at least, would be calmer and kinder than Stanley in condemning Bill.  Or so Bill hoped.

Riley and Salem wandered in from the overnight shift.

“What’s wrong, Koehler?” Riley asked snidely.  “Girlfriend dump you?”

“Shut the fuck up, Riley,” Bill snarled.

“Ooh, the kitten’s got claws,” Riley laughed, elbowing Salem.  “I’m so scared.”

Bill stood suddenly, his desk chair clattering to the ground.  He got in Riley’s face – or as close as he could when Riley had a good six inches on him – and said firmly, “Stop making jokes like that.  It’s not funny and it’s disrespectful.”

“Since when do you care about a dispatcher’s respect?” Riley said, looking down at Bill.

“Since you started being an ass about it.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Bill saw Jimmy walk in.  “What’s going on?”

“Riley was just about to stop trying to make jokes at my expense,” Bill said.

With a glance at Jimmy, Riley stepped back.  “It was just a joke, Koehler.  You shouldn’t be so touchy or people will think it’s true.”

Bill picked up his desk chair and sat back down.  “Morning, Jimmy.”

“Morning.  Looks like I missed half the fun already.”

Bill grunted.

 

Jimmy herded Bill into the patrol car as soon as they could get out the door.

“What _really_ was going on there?  Riley was poking you about Sarah again, wasn’t he?”

“Yes,” Bill said resentfully.  “Stanley stayed over at my place last night instead of driving home drunk and we argued this morning.  I was thinking about that when Riley and Salem walked in and Riley swooped in with his ‘jokes’ about Sarah.”

“What did you and Stanley argue about?”

Bill was silent.  He realized he’d talked himself into a corner.

“It was also about Sarah, wasn’t it?” Jimmy said softly.  He pulled the patrol car onto the side of the road.  “Bill, are you sleeping with her?  You can tell me the truth.”

Bill rubbed his face in his hands and sighed.  “Yes.  I am.  Have been for almost two months now.”

Jimmy didn’t say anything for a minute.  “I kinda figured it’d been longer than that,” he said finally.

With an astonished look, Bill asked, “And you didn’t say anything?”

Jimmy shrugged.  “Until you told me, it was none of my business.  I was worried about you – and her – but technically you’re both adults.  Haven’t mentioned it to Margaret, though.  She won’t see it the same way.”

“What made you think – _realize_ – we were doing that?” Bill asked, noting the “technically.”

“I was there that first day.  I saw the looks you and Sarah gave each other.  I knew there was something there.  I don’t know what and I don’t know why, but I saw it.”  Jimmy turned serious.  “But I’m not the only one who’s seen it.  Riley and the rest think it’s funny, but they don’t really think anything’s happening.  The Sheriff, on the other hand…”

Bill gulped.

“Dawes called me into his office last month to ask if I knew if you two were in a relationship.  Bill, did you forget inter-office dating is against the rules without permission?  If you get caught, you could both lose your jobs!”

He’d totally forgotten that clause in his contract.  “Shit!” he said loudly.  “I did forget.”

“Either you need to go to Dawes now or you need to break up with Sarah,” Jimmy said.

“But if I go to Dawes, it’s going public and…  And I’m not sure I’m ready for that.”

“You’ll sleep with her, but you won’t go public with your relationship?” asked Jimmy skeptically.

“It’s worse than that,” Bill said morosely.  “I think I may love her.”

Jimmy turned to him in surprise.  “You _think_?”

“I don’t know,” Bill said.  “It’s all tangled up in other stuff.”

“Like the fact that you’re sleeping together?”

Bill paused, debating his next words.  He blurted them out before he could change his mind.  “Like the fact I think we’re soulmates.  I feel alive when I’m with her and there’s a hole in me when we’re apart.  From the first, there was something pulling me to her and her to me.  It’s not just me who feels it.  She’s the one who brought it up.”

“You think you’re soulmates?” Jimmy asked carefully.  “Aren’t you supposed to _know_ when you meet them?”

“I guess I know.  I just don’t want to admit it.”

“Because of the age difference?”

“Yeah,” Bill said sadly.  “Because of that.  That’s what Stanley fought with me about this morning.  He thinks she’s too young and I’m basically a child predator now.”

“Bill, do you think you’re capable of breaking up with her now?”

“I don’t know,” Bill said truthfully.

“Then you need to talk to her and talk to Dawes as soon as possible.  Go public or break it off.”

Bill stared out the window, wondering which he should choose.

 

 

That night, Bill came to _her_ apartment.  He let himself in and found her in the bedroom.

Sarah had just put on the teddy.  “I was about to come to your place,” Sarah said.  “Did I make you wait too long?”

Bill answered by pulling her close and kissing her.  It wasn’t their normal kind of kiss; it was sweet and soft and searching.

Sarah cocked her head to look at Bill.  “What’s wrong?” she asked, frowning.

He still didn’t say anything.  Instead, Bill went to his knees and slowly lifted the front of the teddy to kiss her stomach.  He rubbed her through the panties with one hand, holding her close with the other.

Sarah let her head fall back, enjoying the sensations, but was still worried.  Usually Bill talked about his day, about Sadie, about his friends – about _something_.

Something must be wrong.

Bill brought both hands around to massage her breasts.  “You look delicious in this,” he said, breaking his silence.

Sarah ran her hands through his hair.  “Thank you.  I got it for you.”

Bill nipped at her stomach and tugged at the panties with his teeth.

Sarah reached down and took them off.  Bill started lapping at her where she stood.

She leaned on his shoulders for support.  “Babe, I’m not going to be able to stand while you do that – oh!”  She shuddered happily.

Bill ignored her and didn’t let her move to the bed.  Sarah felt her knees weaken as he increased the intensity of his ministrations.

“Bill, hon, babe, oh babe,” Sarah panted.  “I need to sit down or I’m going to fall.”

He still didn’t listen.

Sarah’s legs shuddered and twitched, letting her know her climax was near.  Bill noticed this and licked even faster and harder.  The orgasm slammed into her, and she did start to crumple as her muscles gave out, but Bill caught her and lowered her to her knees.

She was still reeling when she realized he’d stripped his pants and he was engorged, but flagging, right in front of her face.  While Bill took off his uniform shirt, she reached out for him and took him in her mouth.

He stopped, mid-undressing, and cursed.  “Fuck, that feels good.”

Sarah took that – and the fact that he grew to full size – as encouragement.  They’d experimented with more blow jobs and discovered that she had a gag reflex that kept her from letting him finish in her mouth, but it’d become part of the foreplay – she’d warm him up before he came inside her.

Sarah swirled her tongue around his base and continued on to his tip, covering every inch of him.  When that was done, she reached underneath to fondle his balls – in just a minute, she’d explore them with her mouth, too.

Bill gasped for breath when she took them in her mouth and caressed them with her tongue.  She let them fall out of her mouth and continued her ministrations around his whole groin – nipping at the insides of his thighs, taking him in her mouth as far as she could stand, and lots of light, teasing kisses.

It didn’t take long before Bill physically lifted her back up and placed her on the bed.  He checked that she was still wet and thrust in forcefully.

The sex was rough and fast, unlike most of their couplings.  Bill didn’t slow down, just kept up that hammering pace.  His size left a dull ache inside her, but she’d grown to love that feeling of over-fullness.  She just wished he’d slow down a little and stretch this out.

She fondled herself as he pumped away and felt a second orgasm coming from deep inside her – a soft overwhelming warmth, not the sharp pleasure of her first one.  “Bill, oh Bill,” she said, voice breaking.  “Don’t stop, please don’t ever stop.”

Bill’s panting showed he was close, though, and Sarah wasn’t surprised when he came without announcement.  He held himself deep inside her until the last twitches of both their orgasms subsided.

Bill pulled out and immediately started getting dressed again.

Sarah sat up on the bed.  “Aren’t you staying?”

“No.  Not ever again,” Bill said.  “No more of this… whatever this is.  You deserve better than me.”

“Where am I going to find better than you in Jericho?” Sarah asked, standing and pulling her underwear on again.

“There’s five thousand people here, Sarah.  Pick one.”

Sarah shot him an irritated look.  “How many times do I have to tell you?  I _picked_ you.”

Bill sighed.  “This is going to stop.  I’m going to change my lock so you can’t come over unannounced anymore.  I’m not going to sleep with you again.”

Sarah ran a hand down his chest.  “You’re not serious?” she asked.  There was something different in his voice this time.

“I am.  I’m not going to be the lecherous older guy who defiled the young girl.”

Sarah grinned.  “You kinda already are.  Except you’re hardly lecherous and I am more than willing.”

“That’s the point!” Bill said.  “I don’t want to be that guy any more.  You deserve better than that.  I’m calling this quits.”

“Bill…?” Sarah asked quietly.  “You’re really breaking up with me?  I thought…  I thought we had a connection.  I thought we were–”

“Was it ever anything but sex?” Bill sniped.

Sarah took a step back, shocked.  “I thought it was.”

“Well, it wasn’t,” he said.  “And it can’t ever be.”

How was he being this cruel?  Sarah thought they’d shared something more.

Maybe Bill _had_ seen it as just sex all along.

“I’ll see you at work,” he said, and left.

She cried herself to sleep that night in her own empty bed, missing her spot in his.

 

 

Bill drank himself to sleep and showed up to work with a hangover.

“You look like hell,” Jimmy said once they were on patrol.

 “I did it,” Bill said, rubbing his temples.  “It’s over.”

“You really broke things off with Sarah?”

“Had to practically throw rocks at her to get her to leave me alone, but yes.”

Jimmy shook his head.  “I really didn’t think you had it in you.  If she is who you say she is.”

“Don’t even mention it,” Bill said.  “I can’t think about that now.”

Jimmy patted Bill on the shoulder.  “All right, then.”

 

At the end of their shift, Bill walked in cautiously.  Sarah was at work now – he’d heard her over the radio – and he didn’t want any sort of outburst.

He saw her, briefly, in the hallway.  Her eyes were red and her face puffy, like she’d just been crying in the bathroom.

Once he was at his desk, Sara walked up, glaring.  “Did you do something to Sarah?” she asked.  “I know we tease you, but I need to know if you’re messing with my dispatchers.”

Bill shook his head.  “I’m not messing with anyone,” he said, quasi-truthfully.  He wasn’t planning on trying to torture Sarah in any way – he just wanted to be done with her.  Quietly and finally.

Sara eyed him for a minute.  “Okay.  But I’m kicking your ass if I find out it was you who made her upset today.”

 

Sarah texted him that night.  _Can we at least talk about this?  What changed your mind so suddenly?_

Bill stared at his phone for nearly an hour, debating whether to just tell her the truth or not.

But no.  If he gave in – if he talked to her – they’d be tempted to still sneak around.  He’d fall in love again.

As if he’d ever fallen out.

The texts continued for a few nights, then died out.

 

 

Work became cold but cordial, though most of the time they tried to avoid each other.

Sarah thought she had it rougher.  The other deputies figured out she’d had _a_ breakup of some sort and started hitting on her.

“C’mon, you’re a badge bunny, aren’t you?” teased Riley.  “That’s why you wanted to work here.  So go to dinner with me.  You’ll get what you want.”

Sarah pushed past Riley and sat at her station.  How could he ever think that would work?  Did she come across as so desperate that she’d sleep with anyone?  Was that her reputation now?  Had Bill told them what they’d done?

“You okay, hon?” Linda asked.  Her arrival signaled the end of Sarah’s shift, thankfully.

“Yeah, just dealing with some hassle from the guys.”

“Don’t let them do that to you,” Linda said.  “You sass them right back.  Aim low.  They’ll back off.”

Sarah grinned.  If Linda weren’t nearly her grandmother’s age, she thought they could be friends.  As it was, all they had in common was work.  “I’ll get right on that tomorrow,” she promised.

Bill was out walking Sadie when Sarah pulled into the apartment parking lot.  She didn’t even look at him.

She was getting better at ignoring him, day by day.  If only her heart would stop crying out for him, things would get better.

 

They didn’t get better.  Every day, Sarah heard Bill walking around upstairs, talking to Sadie, or on the radio at work.

Every time she heard his voice, a hole deep inside her ached to be filled.

She was distracted at work when Bill’s voice came on.  She became a terrible dispatcher, in her opinion.

And she was lonely, oh so lonely.  She’d spent so much time with Bill that she didn’t know anyone her own age.  She’d tried going out to Bailey’s, but all she ran into was drunk jerks.

And Bill, that one time.

He looked her straight in the eyes and turned away as if he hadn’t just felt the same punch in the gut she did.  Sarah turned and walked out, wiping away tears she thought she’d finished crying.

Life became punctuated by bouts of crying in between work and sleep.  Some nights, she couldn’t sleep – and those were worse.

Sarah wanted to go home.  She didn’t know where that was anymore.  She wasn’t sure she had one.


	2. The Fallout

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's where all the warnings come in, kids.

Bill’s cell phone jangled and woke him from a nap one February morning.  The number was the Sheriff’s.

Today was his day off.  Why was he calling?

“Yes, sir?” he answered the phone.

“You need to get downstairs and do a welfare check on Sarah right now,” the Sheriff said hurriedly.  “She just went silent on a suicide call to the dispatchers.”

Bill’s whole body went on alert.  Without saying anything, he grabbed his keys and ran out the door.

He’d never given back Sarah’s key, so he let himself in.

“Sarah!” he called, but no answer.

She was in her bed, in pajamas, as if sleeping.  Her cell phone lay next to her.

_Fuck_ , he thought.  He shook her and got no response.  He checked her pulse and her breathing – both still there.

“Koehler?” came the tinny voice of Sheriff Dawes from the phone in his hand.  Bill put it back up to his ear.

“She’s unconscious, but breathing, sir.”  Bill paced the room.  “What do I need to do, sir?”

“Find out what she took.  We’ve got an ambulance heading there, but if she took what she said she did, we need to airlift her to Rogue River for a stomach pump.”

Bill looked around the room, eyes falling on a clear bottle by the bedside.  “There’s a bottle.  It’s all in Spanish.  It’s…” _fuck_ again “It’s pentobarbital.”

The Sheriff swore that time and Bill heard him tell Sara to get the hospital in Rogue River on the line.  “If you can get her to wake up and throw up, do that,” he instructed Bill.

 

Bill hung up the phone and climbed on the bed with Sarah.  He shook her again, yelled at her, slapped her cheek.

Nothing.  She was still breathing, though.

He tried to think what he knew to do.  He wasn’t EMS trained, though.

He bent down and kissed her.  “Wake up, babe,” he whispered, hoping against hope it would work like in the movies.

Bill was still waiting for a response when the actual EMS guys showed up.  “Took you long enough,” he told them indignantly.

They brushed off his anger and ran the same checks Bill had.  “Sir, we’re going to take her to a location the helicopter can land.”

“I’m her – her neighbor.  She doesn’t have anyone else.  I’m coming with her.”  Bill said.  He grabbed the clear bottle, just in case it would help.

Bill followed the ambulance in his SUV to the closest grocery store parking lot – there was an empty lot in front that had once been a Carl’s Jr.  A few minutes later, the medevac copter from Fillmore County Hospital set down.

They loaded Sarah on, Bill insisted on coming too, so they let him climb in before taking off.  It vaguely occurred to him to wonder how he’d get home after this, but maybe Jimmy would come get him.

 

A long twenty-five minutes later, they set down on the roof of the hospital.  One of the waiting nurses came up to him and started asking him questions.

“How much did she take?  How long ago?  How did she get it?”

Bill couldn’t answer them, but he handed over the clear container.

“She ordered them from Mexico then.  She was serious about this,” the nurse said, pocketing the container.

“What do you mean?” Bill asked, hurrying to follow her through the hospital and trying to keep an eye on the bed Sarah was in.

“I mean it costs $500-$600 to order a lethal dose from Mexico or China.  Sometimes they get adulterated pills.  Since she’s still with us, I’m guessing hers weren’t a full dose.”

Bill thanked whatever gods there were for that.  “But will she be okay?”

“Maybe,” was the only answer he got.

Bill was stopped from going further once they reached the emergency room.

“Sir, we need you to give us some information about her.”

Bill nodded, staring down the hallway they took her.  He was gently led to a registration desk and handed forms.

He knew her name and address, but her social security number?  Her insurance contract number?  He didn’t know those things.

He hadn’t known she was at risk to do this, either.  How much did he _not_ know about her?  How much had he chosen not to know?

He filled out what he could and handed the form back.  “I’m sorry I don’t know more,” he said.  “We’re on the same work plan, if my insurance card will help.”

The registrar shook her head.  “We have people in Billing that can track this down.  Or you can bring us her card tomorrow.”

“You think she’s still be here tomorrow?” Bill asked.

“Sir, I don’t know anything going on back there.  I really couldn’t tell you.”

“When can I go back and be with her?”

“They’ll call you.  Just wait out here.”

Bill took the chance to call the Sheriff back and tell him they’d made it to the ER and he was waiting to hear.  “They recognized the bottle, sir.  They said she must have been planning this for a while.  She ordered the pentobarbital from Mexico.”

The Sheriff sighed.  “I was afraid of that.  Taking 911 calls is rough on anyone.  I thought she was standing it, though.”

Bill didn’t tell him about their breakup months ago.

“You wait with her.  We’re all rooting for her to pull through.  If you need a break, let me know.”

 

Bill sat in the waiting room, head in his hands, thinking.

Why did she do this?  If it was because of him, why not right after the breakup?  Why wait months?  What made her think this was her best option?  What if she died anyway?

Why had he ever cut things off with her in the first place?  He’d never stopped feeling that pull towards her, never stopped having that hole deep inside him where she belonged.  Why couldn’t he have just faced up to the Sheriff and told him what they were doing?  Why did he have to chicken out?

“Sir?”

Bill looked up.  Another nurse was there.  “Your friend is being stabilized.  You can come back now.”

“What did you do to her?” Bill asked, jumping up to follow.

“Stomach pump to keep more of the pentobarbital from entering her system.  Now her body just has to process through what she already absorbed.  We’ll keep an eye on her until she wakes up, then we’d like to ask her to stay for a short-term voluntary commitment.”  The nurse looked at him.  “Unless you’d like to request an involuntary commitment.  That will get a judge involved, though.”

“Uh,” Bill shrugged.  “Make it voluntary, I guess.”

“You can make a better decision once she wakes up.”

“How long is that going to take?”  Bill almost had to job to keep up with the tall nurse.

“It depends.  What she took is a major depressant, usually used as a sedative for livestock and other similarly sized animals.  Basically all her systems are trying to slow down and shut down and we’re trying to keep them going.  She’ll be in ICU overnight as we see where we need to be focusing our attention.”

ICU overnight.  Maybe Jimmy could bring him some fresh clothes for tomorrow?  He’d ask Stanley, but if Stanley found out he was with Sarah again…

Wait.

_With_ Sarah again?  How was he already thinking like that?  She wasn’t awake yet and there was no guarantee she’d ever take him back after the way he treated her.

Maybe she _shouldn’t_ take him back.

That didn’t change Bill wanting to be here the entire time she was.

 

Jimmy and Margaret showed up just before visiting hours ended in the ICU.  Jimmy brought the promised change of clothes and Margaret brought his SUV.

Bill thanked them and Margaret got in his face.

“Jimmy told me what happened with you two,” she said.  “I’m not happy with you, Bill, but right now, you owe that girl all the help you can give.  If she wants it from you.  And if she doesn’t, well.  You deserve what you get.”

Bill didn’t argue.  He’d learned long ago arguing with Margaret was futile.  “You’re right,” he said.  “I do.”

“Let’s go pick up dinner in the cafeteria,” Jimmy suggested.  “Bill can tell us everything you want to know over dinner.”

 

Bill rehashed the entire relationship – particularly his ending of it – for Margaret over hospital baked chicken and vegetables.  He could tell Margaret didn’t approve.

“She’s too young for you under normal circumstances, Bill, but if you were right and you are soulmates…  Well, I guess that transcends a few years’ age difference.”  Margaret poked at her food.  “But you.  You are a complete and total jerk for ending it that way.  You couldn’t just tell her you were afraid of getting fired.  No, you had to march in there and say the most hurtful things you could think of.  Men!” she said, shaking her head.

Jimmy laid a hand on her arm to calm her down, but Margaret jerked it away.

“No, Jimmy, he needs to hear this.  Bill, you are an absolute asshole for what you did.  I didn’t know you could stoop so low.  Maybe you’ve been around Riley and Salem too much.  But if you messed this up, well.  You deserve to live knowing you ran off your soulmate.  Lord knows that girl deserves better than you.”

Bill listened to what Margaret was saying and took it to heart, but…  “Sarah.  Her name is Sarah.  Not ‘that girl’.”’

Margaret leaned back in her chair.  “That’s a good start, Bill.  Be ready to fight for her if you want her.”

 

After an uncomfortable night in the ICU waiting room, visiting hours finally opened again.  Bill shuffled sleepily into Sarah’s room.

She was pale and a little bloated from all the fluids they’d pushed into her to dilute the pentobarbital.  She was on a respirator, intubated, with IVs in one arm and monitors on the other.

There was one chair in the room.  Bill pulled it up next to Sarah’s bed and sat, holding her hand, waiting for her to wake up.

 

Whirr.  Click.  Beep.

Whirr.  Click.  Beep.

Sarah slowly became aware she was hearing noises.  No!  She wasn’t supposed to hear noises, she was supposed to be dead.

It appeared she’d failed, despite her careful planning.  Had she called 911 too soon?  Did she order the wrong dosage?  What happened?

She realized there was something in her mouth, in her throat, and she tried to cough it out, but it wasn’t going anywhere.  She was waking up in a hospital, wasn’t she?  Who had tried to save her?

She thought she heard Bill’s voice, but it had to be just her imagination.  He’d never help her.  Her eyes opened and she couldn’t focus, couldn’t see through the tears of defeat.

“Miss Morgan,” she heard a calm female voice say, “You’re in the ICU of Fillmore County Hospital.  You’re in Rogue River, Kansas.  If you calm down, I can take that tube out of your throat.”

Sarah turned towards the voice and finally saw a young nurse standing by her bed.

So it _was_ a hospital, then.  She’d failed.  Tears rolled down her face, but she nodded.  Anything to get this thing out of her throat.

If taking the tube out was half as uncomfortable as putting it in, Sarah was glad she missed it.  Tears of pain filled her eyes this time.

“Yeah, it’s gonna be sore for a while,” the nurse said.  “Ice chips and water and soft foods for right now.  Your friend here can take care of that while we get you a regular room.”

“Friend?” Sarah whispered hoarsely.  The nurse pointed to the other side of the bed.

Sarah’s vision swam when she turned her head, but when it focused, there was Bill.

Holding her hand.

She jerked it back, fast enough to shake loose one of the monitors attached to her fingers.  Sarah handed it to the nurse, who reattached it and silenced the frantically beeping machine.

She turned back to Bill and waited for her vision to clear.  “You,” she whispered.

Bill leaned forward in the chair.  “Hey,” he said softly.  “You scared me.  You scared a lot of people.”

Sarah said nothing until the nurse left.  “Wasn’t meant to scare.  Meant to die.”

 

Bill was frightened of the hollow look in Sarah’s eyes when she spoke.

“Why would you want to do that?” he asked, after shuffling through many other alternatives in his head.

“No friends.  No family.  Not great at work.  You hate me.  Why live?”

It suddenly occurred to Bill that as far as he knew, Sarah _didn’t_ have friends outside work.  They were so concerned with secrecy, he never introduced her to anyone.  When he’d dumped her, he’d actually left her completely alone. 

Stupid!  Margaret was right, he’d been an asshole.

“I’m so sorry for the way I treated you,” he said.  “I thought you could have a happy life without me.  I… was scared of people seeing us and what they’d think of me.  I was afraid we’d get caught at work and I’d lose my job.  I thought I was thinking of you, but I wasn’t.”

Bill helped Sarah drink some water from a plastic thermos.  He paused, hoping she was considering his words.  “I don’t hate you.  I never have.  I’ve hurt every day since then and I can only imagine how you’ve felt.  If I’d had any sense, I’d’ve proposed to you instead of running you off.”

“Felt used,” Sarah said, voice a little less hoarse with the water.  “Like you said, it was just sex.”

Bill hated himself right now.  “I did say that.  I didn’t mean it.  It was always more than that to me.  I loved you.  Still do.  I want to show that to you.  I want to earn your trust back.”

Sarah didn’t say anything.

Bill just waited.

 

After Sarah was relocated to a regular hospital room, she told Bill to go home.  It was getting late and he had to work in the morning.

He tried to tell her that his uniform was in the car, but she was adamant.

They were still arguing when a nurse came to talk to Sarah about a voluntary commitment.

Sarah thought about it.  Go home and sit and stew in this mess some more or stay here a few more days and maybe get some help.

_Do I really want help?_ she wondered, even as she signed the papers agreeing to stay.

They moved her again, and this time Bill couldn’t follow her.

Good.

 

 

Bill trudged into work the next morning, bedraggled and exhausted: he hadn’t slept at home for worrying over Sarah.

He faced a wall of questions from the Sheriff and the other dispatchers.  He tried to answer what he could – yes, she was going to be fine.  No, she didn’t say why.  No, she wasn’t out, she was staying a few more days.  Yes, voluntarily.  No, he didn’t know if she was coming back to work.

Jimmy saved his questions for the patrol car.  “How is she really, Bill?”

“Still suicidal, I think.  She wasn’t happy about waking up.  Or waking up to see me.”

“Did you apologize?”

“Profusely, I thought,” Bill said.  “But I don’t think she accepted it.”

“Well, there were probably other things on her mind.”

Bill thought for a bit.  “The hospital gave me contact info for the ward, since I was the person there with her.  I’m going to call her tonight.  Every night she’s there, as long as she’ll talk to me.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“One of the things she said was that she didn’t have any friends.  I want her to know she has me, at least.”

“Did you give the number to anyone else?”

“I was going to ask her if there was anyone else she wanted to talk to.”

Jimmy nodded.  “Good.  Let her make the decisions.”  He glanced at Bill.  “If she wants a female to talk to, Margaret volunteered.”

Bill didn’t know how a complete stranger would go over, but he had to admit Margaret would probably be good for Sarah to talk to.

 

 

“Morgan!  You have a phone call!” yelled one of the nurses down the hall.

Sarah looked up from the puzzle she’d been working in the rec area and rolled her wheelchair over to the phone.  They’d said she might not walk for a week.  She stood a little to grab the phone off the wall.

“Hello?” she asked, unsure of who it was.

“Hey, you.”  Bill’s voice.

Sarah paused.  “Why are you calling?”

“I want you to have some way to reach the outside world, so I thought I’d see who you wanted me to give this number to.  I want you to know you’re not alone.  And selfishly, I want to talk to you.”  He took a breath.  “Again, I am so sorry how I treated you.  When I thought I’d lose you…  It hit me how much you still mean to me.  How much I want you around.  _Need_ you around”

“How come you were with me?”  Sarah could process his apology later.

“When you went off the 911 line, Dawes called me to do a welfare check on you.  I’m the one who found you before the ambulance got there.  You were airlifted to Rogue River.”

“I was _airlifted_?” Sarah said.  “Shoot, how’m I going to pay for that?  Those things don’t get off the ground for less than ten thousand.”

“I’ll help you figure out something,” Bill promised. 

Sarah waited through another moment of silence.  “I’m sorry you found me.  I meant to be found by EMTs I didn’t know.”

“You really thought the Sheriff wouldn’t send one of us to check on you?  You dispatchers are part of the team.  You work really hard at tough jobs, just like we do.”

Sarah glanced around to see that she was alone, except for the cameras the nurses watched.  Everyone else was in their rooms.  “So you lied that day.  It wasn’t just sex.  You weren’t just using me?”

She heard Bill take a deep breath.  “I lied.  Since the day we met, you’ve meant more to me than a friend and then when we had what we had?  I fell in love with you, too.  The way you’d show up to my apartment and make me try teas and drink hot chocolate.  Your stupid pajamas.  What you look like when you sleep.  The way you said my name.  I loved every second of it.”

“Bill…”

“Yeah, when you say it like that.”

“Why, then?”

“Because it was time to either go public with you or break it off.  Because if we’d been caught at work, one or both of us might have lost our jobs.  Because I was scared and chickenshit and not worth having you.”

“So you were scared and you took it out on me?” Sarah asked slowly.  “Is that right?”

There was remorse in Bill’s voice.  “Yeah, that about covers it.  Jesus, I’m an asshole.”

“Yeah, you were.”

“Were?” Bill’s voice perked up and Sarah let a smile cross her face.

“You’re doing a good job apologizing.  But things are never gonna be like they were, Bill.  Even if we get back together, I’ll be afraid of you having another crisis of conscience.”

“But you’re _considering_ getting back together.”

Sarah grinned again and shook her head.  “I don’t know yet.  I’m still figuring _me_ out.  They want me out in five days and I don’t know if I can be ready by then.”

She sighed.  “Bill, whatever happens, there’s always going to be a hole in me only you can fill.  An attraction to you that I’ll never be able to deny.  But I need to be able to _trust_ you, too.”

A nurse showed up and tapped her watch, pointing out that Sarah had used her allotted phone time.

“Bill, I’ve got to go,” she said.  “Call back tomorrow.”

 

Bill called all five days.  Sarah talked to him all five days.  Some nights, they talked about what was happening at the station and about what Sarah learned in therapy.

“I don’t have a support group anymore,” Sarah said.  “I left that back in Alabama.  And then it was you.  And now it’s no one.”

“I’m trying to be yours.”

“But I can’t rely on a single person again.  I need to meet more people.”

“When you get out, you can come with me to the Taylor’s.  You already know Jimmy.  And Margaret’s ready to adopt you.  If I mistreat you again, she’s already threatened to kick me to the curb.  And Stanley!  I want you to meet him under better circumstances.  My friend Emily comes back to town for holidays, so you can meet her.”

“Bill, these are all _your_ friends.  I need my own.”

“We’ll find you some, somehow.  I promise.  You’re gonna have a support group, even if it’s just my friends to start with.”

 

Other nights, Sarah was frank about her mental state and what had happened.

“You’re right, I planned it for a while.  Thought of it over the holidays.”

“What made you start thinking suicide?” Bill asked gently.

“Do you know how much it sucks to be completely alone on the holidays?  No cards, no visits, no phone calls even?  The second year of that got to me.  I realized how entirely alone I was and thought no one would miss me or care.  I mean, I’d already been rejected by the one person who was supposed to care about me more than anything.”

“You were wrong about being missed and no one caring.  And I’m an ass for ever making you feel that way.”  Bill patted the couch, signaling for Sadie to join him.  “Why’d you order meds from Mexico?”

“I wanted to make sure I’d die,” she admitted.  “Nembutal is supposed to be a sure thing.  I don’t know why it didn’t work.”

“Nembutal?  Is that the brand name of it?  The nurses said sometimes you get an adulterated dose and you had enough to put you in a coma for a day, but not enough to kill you.”

“Yeah, it’s a different name for pentobarbital.  It’s the name used on the suicide forums, at least.”

“Forums?  Sarah…”

“I told you, I wanted to be sure.  So I researched.”

Bill felt tears in his own eyes.  Sarah said these things so matter-of-factly, but they were horrible things.  He never wanted her to think this way again.

He told her that, but he could hear her shrug.  “I can talk about it or I can hold it all in again,” she said.  “I’m choosing to talk.”

“I didn’t say stop talking,” Bill pointed out.  “I just don’t want you to ever think like that again.  Don’t stop, and not this way,” he said, echoing their first time together, hoping it brought back good memories for her.

“I…  You really hurt me, Bill.  I can’t say you set me down this path, but you helped me along.  I’m supposed to be able to trust you.  You’re my… my soulmate,” Sarah said.  “And you hurt me worse than anyone ever has or probably ever will.”

“Babe,” he said, testing out the pet name.  “You have no idea how sorry I am.  For all the hurt I caused you, for months we lost when we could have been together, for not being there for you when you were hurting and feeling alone.  I should have been there.  I should be helping you heal pain, not cause more of it.”

“You’re right.  You should have been there.  But you are helping right now.”

Bill brightened a little.  “I am?”

“Yeah.  Just having someone to talk to that isn’t a psychiatrist is nice.  And you listen when I say tough things.”

“You deserve to have that,” Bill said.  “That’s the least I can do for you.”

“But do I really _deserve_ anything?  I don’t feel like I do.  I feel like I just caused trouble for people when I meant to stop being a trouble.”

“Sarah…” Bill ran a hand through his hair and leaned forward on the couch.  “Of course you deserve it.  You deserve it because you’re a human being, but also because you’re a good person.  Remember, I got to know you for a year before we ever did anything.  You’re kind and caring and funny and smart and I enjoyed being around you.  Just for you, not because of the soulmate thing.  You have to learn to believe that about yourself.”

“I don’t know that I can.”  Her voice was stuffy, as if she’d started crying.

“I’ll remind you when you forget,” Bill promised.

 

 

Sarah was released Saturday.  Bill took off from work early to go pick her up.  He was waiting when they rolled her out of the hospital doors in a wheelchair.

“Hey, you,” he said softly, offering his hand to help her up.

Sarah looked at him and took it gingerly.  She still wasn’t sure she trusted him, but he was trying to be kind.  And anyway, she was still unsteady on her feet – turns out trying to kill yourself messes with all your systems.

One leg gave out as she climbed into the SUV and Bill caught her, arms wrapped around her chest.

“Hey, you okay?”

“Just a little shaky,” she said and pulled out of his arms to sit in the SUV.  “I’ll be fine.”

Bill gave her a concerned look but didn’t argue.

They rode in silence for about forty-five minutes before Bill spoke up.

“I’ve got to tell you something you’re not going to like.”

“What’s that?” Sarah said, bracing herself for the worst.  Well, worse than she’d already heard from him.

“You’ve got your job back, if you want it, but Sheriff Dawes put conditions on that.”

“No more suicide attempts?  No joking about it in an attempt to cope?” Sarah asked.

Bill gave her a sad look.  “He doesn’t want you to be alone these next few days.  And now that I’ve seen you’re likely to fall, I’m inclined to agree.  I volunteered since we live so close and I’m off the next two days anyway, but if you want, you can go stay with Jimmy and Margaret.  Or with the Sheriff – you can stay with him and his wife.”

Sarah sighed.  “I really just want to go home,” she said.

“Then you’re stuck with me,” Bill said.  “I promise I’ll behave.  I’ll sleep on the couch and you can call me if you need help getting in or out of bed.”

Because you’re so good at getting me in bed, Sarah thought.

“I don’t really have a choice, do I?” she asked.

Bill shook his head.  “It’s just your choice of companion.”

Sarah leaned her head against the side of the car and watched the cornfields go by.  She wanted to be home, alone.  But what would she do?  Sit and mull over the last few days?  Fall down a few times?  Maybe even forget her therapy appointment Wednesday, if she could even drive there?

“Okay,” she said finally.  “But you need to bring Sadie, too.  She doesn’t need to be alone, either.”

A smile finally crossed Bill’s face.  “I promise she’ll behave, too.”

 

Bill settled Sarah in on the couch with some water nearby and took the chance to run upstairs for a change of clothes and Sadie.

“Hey girl,” he said, scratching behind her ear.  “We’re going on a vacation downstairs for a couple of days.  No chewing shoes or furniture while we’re there, okay?”

Sadie barked and Bill took that as agreement.

The two trekked back downstairs and found Sarah in the floor in the hallway.

Bill dropped his stuff by the door and hurried to help her back up.  “What happened?” he said.

“I need to go to the bathroom,” Sarah said, tears in her eyes, “But my stupid leg started twitching and my knee didn’t work and I fell.”

“Is that why you have a ‘fall risk’ bracelet?” Bill asked, indicating the hospital bracelets she still wore.

Sarah nodded.  “My right hand gives out, too.  Real fun when I’m trying to eat.”

“But you should get that function back, right?”

“Maybe.  In a few days or a few years, I don’t know.  Bill, I really need to pee; can you help me to the bathroom?”

Sadie followed them into the bathroom.  Bill left Sarah leaning against the counter and closed the door.  He waited until he heard the faucet running to knock and let himself back in.  “What do you feel like doing?” he asked.

“Maybe watch a movie?  I’ve got the extended edition of Fellowship of the Rings.”

Bill had read that book in high school; required reading.  “Sure.  I haven’t seen it.”

He helped her back to the couch and put the DVD in the player.

Sarah curled up on the far side of the couch from him.

Around the time the Fellowship left Rivendell and he needed to put the second DVD in, he felt her slide her feet under his legs.  He glanced over and Sarah was staring casually at the TV screen.

She didn’t move her legs when he sat back down, but Bill could feel her leg twitching underneath him.

He reached out and placed both hands around her calf, holding it still.  He could feel the muscles jerking through her jeans.

“What all happened to you?” he asked.  “They didn’t tell me much in ICU because I wasn’t family.”

Sarah looked down at his hands.  “They said I wouldn’t walk for a week.  I was sorta walking after four days.  They tested me for brain damage and found none, though I may have memory problems in the future.  My kidneys and liver are only half working, though, so I need to be careful.  The nerves are reconnecting throughout my body, which is causing the twitching.”

Bill’s heart broke for her all over again.  “That sounds like it sucks, but you got off easier than you might have.”

“Guess it was good you got to me so fast,” Sarah said.

Bill looked up at her.  That was the first time she’d said anything good about still being alive.  “I think so.  I’m glad you’re still here.  With me.”

“Yeah…” she said.  “I guess I’m glad it’s you here with me, too.”

Bill felt tightness grow in his chest.  He almost cried to hear her say that.

“If my feet are bothering you…?” she said.

Bill ran his hands down to her bare feet and felt that electric tingle he got whenever their skin touched.  He hadn’t felt that in so long, he couldn’t help but draw in a sharp breath.

He looked up to find Sarah staring at him.  “I’m sorry,” he said.  “I just want to help.”

“I want to be able to walk without falling.  Maybe I need a cane?” she asked.

“That’s a good idea,” Bill said.  “Maybe we can go out to a store in Goodland and find out and get some food?  I’m sure you want something better than hospital food.”

“Oh gosh, yes,” Sarah said.  “You’ve got me drooling already.  When can we leave?”

“Right after we cut those bracelets off of you,” Bill said, pulling a folding knife from his pocket.  “No need to advertise where you’ve been.”

 

Bill used Sarah’s computer to look for the closest medical supply store.  “Turns out it’s in New Bern, not Goodland, babe,” he called back to the living room.

“That works.  We can scope out where my appointment is Wednesday.”

“Appointment?”

“With a therapist.  The hospital set it up.  I have another one on Friday.”  She saw the look on his face.  “I know you can’t take off any more than you already have.  I’ll have to be okay to drive by then.”

“Or we get you a driver,” Bill said.

“Let’s just wait and see how I do.”

Bill helped Sarah back to the car, holding her tight under her arms.  They made it to the medical supply store and Sarah picked out a cane that looked sturdy enough to catch her.  “I’ll have to use my left hand for it,” she said, and practiced walking up and down the aisle with it.  It took her a minute, but she got the hang of it.

“Food next?” she asked hopefully.  Her stomach had begun to growl.

They drove around until they found an Italian restaurant that looked promising.  Sarah thought pasta would be pretty safe to try eating.

The hostess sat them at a table and they sat there, looking at the menu.  Sarah found her meal right away – fettuccine carbonara – and fiddled with the pages while Bill studied them closer.

“You know,” she said.  “This is the first time you’ve gone out with me in public.  This is like our first date.”

Bill smiled softly.  “We should have had it sooner.”

“We might have if you weren’t a colossal jerk.”

Bill nodded once.  “You have me there.”

“Just… don’t do that again.  Can you promise me that?” Sarah asked.  “And I’ll promise to try to trust you?”

Bill reached across the table for Sarah’s hand.  “I will swear that on a stack of Bibles.  Or whatever you want me to swear by.”

“Your badge,” Sarah said.  “Swear by that.”

Bill looked surprised, but she knew he valued his badge greatly.  “I swear by my badge and my job as a deputy that I won’t be an asshole to you again.”

Sarah hoped he could keep his promise.  He gave her hand a squeeze and she smiled a little.

 

Bill made her smile.  A soft smile, to be sure, but that was a smile.  She hadn’t yanked her hand away, either.  He was making progress with her.

Sarah was tired by the time they reached her apartment, full and happy.  She sat on the couch, leaning on her cane.

“You’re sleeping out here?”

“Me and Sadie,” Bill said.  “You call if you need me.  Even if it’s just to get you a glass of water.”

“Do you mind if I go to bed so early?”

“Only if you promise me you’re sleeping, not planning anything.”

Irritation flashed in her eyes.  “Just sleeping.”

“Then go.  I’ll be fine out here.  Remember, I go to bed early, too.”

Sarah disappeared into the bedroom and closed the door behind her.  Bill almost asked her if she needed help changing, but decided that was too forward.

Small steps, Bill.  Small steps.

He checked his phone and he had messages from the Sheriff and Jimmy, both checking on Sarah.

Standing by the door – as far from her bedroom as he could get – Bill returned their calls.  He updated them on her situation – using a cane, some organ damage – and swore he was staying with her.  “In the other room,” he told Jimmy.

Bill finished watching the movie they’d started and went to Sarah’s linen closet for a blanket – the couch pillows would do for him.

He heard nothing but silence from Sarah’s room, so he stretched out and drifted off to sleep.

 

Sarah woke with a scream, lying frozen in bed.

Bill burst into the room, looking half-awake.  “What’s wrong?”

“Nightmare,” Sarah said.  “Got them at the hospital, too.”

Bill sat on the bed next to her.  “Does it help to talk about them?”

She shook her head.  “Couldn’t describe them.  Nurses said it’s the Nembutal still leaving my brain.  And my brain processing the trauma my body went through.”

Bill hesitated, but stroked some hair out of her face.  “What can I do to help?”

“I don’t know,” she said, close to tears.  “I need sleep but I’m scared to go back.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Bill said.  “I get nightmares too, sometimes.  Some of the things we see on the job…  Well, you know, because you send us there.”

Sarah nodded.  “I do.”

Bill picked up her hand and kissed it lightly.  She didn’t pull it away.  “I’m going to be right on the couch if you need me again.”

 

Sarah woke twice more in the night, screaming and unable to describe her dreams.  The next morning, both she and Bill were a little bedraggled, but got up anyway.

Sarah kept on her pajamas while they watched more movies, including some of Bill’s he brought downstairs.

She tucked her feet under his leg again and Bill idly caressed her legs on the couch next to him.

Sarah didn’t say anything.

Mid-afternoon, she declared it nap time.  She leaned on the cane to stand and stood there for a moment, looking at him.

“Bill?” she asked cautiously.  “What if… What if you were in the bed with me?  No funny stuff, just another body.  I wonder if that would help the nightmares?”

A hopeful expression crossed his face, just for a moment.  “Maybe.  You wanna give it a try?”

She nodded and Bill followed her to the bedroom.  He turned down the covers for her and watched her climb into bed on her own before going to the other side and crawling in.

He was very careful not to touch her, Sarah noted, and said nothing when she rolled so her back was to him.

 

Bill lay there and studied the back of Sarah’s head for a while.  Her hair had lost some of its luster in the past few days, but it was still all he could do not to reach out and brush it with his fingers.

Just as Bill started to drift off to sleep, Sarah began twitching and whimpering.  Bill had a feeling she was about to wake screaming, so he reached out and pulled her to him, spooning her.  It’d been a guess on his part, but she calmed down.  Bill fell asleep holding her like that.

He slept deeply.  He always had when he shared the bed with her.  She seemed to, as well.

Sarah was awake when Bill woke up, but she hadn’t tried to move from his grasp.  He let go of her and rolled back.  “I know you said no funny stuff, but it helped keep you from waking up screaming,” he said preemptively.

Sarah rolled to face him.  “I figured.  It worked.  I just had one nightmare and got through it.  I don’t even remember the rest of my dreams.”

Bill smiled.  “I hoped it would help.”

“Would you mind not sleeping on the couch tonight?” Sarah asked carefully.

He’d give anything for that.  “If that’s what you want.  I’m here to help _you_.”

 

Sarah woke in Bill’s arms the next day.  She’d slept well and even felt stronger.  Maybe there was something healing in a soulmate’s touch, she wondered.

It was the last day she’d have Bill all to herself, though.  Tomorrow, he’d go back to work and maybe back to his regular life.  She’d been getting used to having him back in hers.

Sarah accompanied Bill and Sadie on their morning walk and only needed the cane once – a huge improvement from yesterday.

She collapsed on the couch when they came back.  Bill unclipped Sadie from her leash and joined her.  This time, she sat close enough he could touch her shoulder.  Obligingly, he gave it a rub.

“Sarah, I need to apologize again for the way I treated you,” he said suddenly.  “And for any part I had in you ending up here.  I feel like I owe you an apology every day for the rest of our lives.”

“And you’re planning on being around me the rest of our lives?” Sarah asked, not unkindly.

“One day at a time for now,” Bill said.  “But that’s the end goal for me.”

“In that case, I want you to know I’m working on forgiving you.  I’m not there yet, but I’m getting there,” she said.  “You being here the past few days is showing me I can trust you again.  It’s just been a few days, though.”

“That’s more than I deserve,” Bill said after a moment.  “Thank you.”

“What is the plan for tomorrow?” she asked.  “You go back to work.”

“You can come with me,” Bill said, but Sarah felt a flash of fear at facing everyone again.  Bill must have read it in her face.  “Or you can stay here, if you think you’re up to it.  If not, I’ll take you to Jimmy and Margaret’s.  If you don’t mind kids, that is.”

Sarah thought about it.  “Do you think Margaret could take me to my appointments Wednesday and Friday?  I may be up to driving by then, but I’m not now.”

“I’ll ask her.”  Bill pulled out his phone and called Margaret.

“Turns out she’s got the kids in a daycare program a three days a week so she gets a break.  If your appointments are in the morning, you’re good to go.”

Sarah nodded.  “They are.”

Bill sent off a text to Margaret instead of bothering her again.  “Then I’ll take you over there.  If  you’re sure you don’t want to try work again?”

“I don’t know if I can face everybody,” Sarah admitted.  “I’m embarrassed.  I feel like I failed even at being a failure.”

Bill gently turned her face towards his.  “You’re not a failure for not dying.  You came so close and look at you now: almost completely better.  That’s a success story, not a failure.”

Sarah’s eyes filled with tears.  “It doesn’t feel like one,” she said softly.  “I don’t want to be judged, either, and I feel like everyone will.”

“Everyone will be glad to see you,” Bill promised.  “They may not know what to say to you, but the whole office was asking about you when you were in the hospital.”

Sarah nodded, the tears falling now.

“Come here,” Bill said.  He wrapped her in a hug and let her cry into his shoulder.

She thought he held her a little tighter in bed that night.  She didn’t mind.

 

 

Margaret was no-nonsense and practical and everything Jimmy was not – except for the kindness both shared, Sarah learned.

She welcomed Sarah every day with a hug, even before they’d been formally introduced, and put her to work helping with the kids.

Playing with them seemed to help Sarah’s dexterity.  Her arm trembled less often after a play session.  She colored with Woody, stacked Duplo blocks with Sally, and helped Margaret make their lunches.

Margaret wasn’t nosy, for the most part, but on Wednesday, driving to New Bern, she finally asked some questions.

They weren’t the ones Sarah figured, like “Why did you do that?” or “When are you going back to work?”

“Is Bill behaving himself?” Margaret asked instead.  “Hands to himself?”

“He’s been a real help,” Sarah answered.  “And I’ve let him touch me.  He helps me sleep without nightmares.  But he’s been a real gentleman about it.”

Margaret nodded.  “Good.  I gave that boy a talking-to and it sounds like he listened.”

“What did you tell him?”

“That he’d been an unqualified ass and would deserve it if you never talked to him again.  And that if he wanted you back, he’d have to work for it.”

Sarah nodded slowly.  “That’s… pretty much what he’s been doing.”

“Good,” Margaret said.  “You deserve better.  But Bill _can_ be better.  I’ve known him since school.  He’s bull-headed and stupid sometime, but he’s got potential.”

They were quiet for a moment.  Margaret pulled into the doctor’s office parking lot.

“Thank you,” said Sarah suddenly.  “For the ride, but also for not judging me.”

“What do I have to judge you about?” Margaret said, sounding genuine.

“For what I did.  For dating a guy Bill’s age instead of one my age.  For considering taking him back.”

Margaret scoffed.  “Judgment is the last thing you need, honey.  I’m just happy you’re doing better and so is Bill.  Despite what I told Bill, I’ve kinda come to root for you two in the last week.  Jimmy has since Bill told him you’re soulmates.”

“Bill told you that?”

“He did.  And if it’s really true, then everyone else can go screw themselves.”

Sarah couldn’t help but laugh.

Margaret waved her out of the car.  “Go before you’re late.  I’m going shopping and will be back in an hour.”

Sarah went.  Best not to cross Margaret.

 

Bill picked her up from Margaret’s each day and they took Sadie for a walk together when they got home.  By Friday, she didn’t even need the cane.

She was able to cook again – nothing too great, just one pan skillet meals, but it was nice to be able to use her kitchen.  Bill ate dinner with her every night except Tuesday, when they both ate at the Taylor’s.

Bill reclaimed his drawer in her dresser and it was almost like old times, minus the sex.

Sarah began to think about that.  Had she messed herself up there, too?  She certainly still felt attraction towards Bill.

Friday night when they went to bed, Sarah kissed Bill on the cheek – just a simple goodnight kiss.  She half hoped he’d turn it into more, but he only kissed her shoulder once when he snuggled in behind her.

 

Saturday morning, Bill got up and showered before work.  When he went to wake Sarah, she was already sitting up.

“I think I want to go with you,” she said.  “I think I’m ready.”

“You sure?” he asked, looking at her closely.

Sarah nodded.  “I have to do it sometime and I’ve imposed on the Taylors enough this week.”

“Then get dressed.  I need to leave in twenty minutes.”  Bill pulled on his uniform pants as he spoke.

Sarah was ready.  She could have stood to shower, but she was presentable.

Bill thought she looked lovely anyway.

 

All eyes turned to her when they walked into the station.  Salem and Riley, fresh in from the night shift, didn’t say anything to her.

Cindy, the nighttime dispatcher, did.  She leapt up and hugged Sarah, telling her how she’d been missed and how glad she was that Sarah was back.

Sarah put up with the squeezing hug and pulled up a chair behind Cindy’s station.  Cindy offered her the headset.

“You ready to get back on the horse?”

Sarah nodded and put on the headset.

She lasted four hours before it overwhelmed her.  In the middle of a call about loose cattle, she started crying for no reason she could fathom.  It was like her emotional control had just given out.

Linda quickly took the headset back and Sarah moved to a chair in the corner.  When the call was handled, Linda checked on Sarah.

“I’m sorry,” Sarah sniffled.  “I thought I was ready to be back, but I guess I’m not.”

“You made it four hours, honey.  That’s part time.  We’ll take you back for that.”

Sarah sat in the dispatch room, waiting for Bill to come back.  She wished she’d driven herself.  Maybe next week, she could be back behind the wheel.

 

It’d been a long shift preceded by a – technically – working weekend.  Bill was dog-tired.  He straightened up when he saw Sarah, though.

She looked as bad as he felt, exhaustion in her face.  He wanted nothing more than to scoop her up into a hug and take her home to bed, but he needed to talk to Sheriff Dawes first.

Tuesday, after his shift.  He had it all planned.  Even if he and Sarah never had a physical relationship again, they had an emotional one.  He owed it to Sarah to make the right decision this time.

Bill helped Sarah out to his SUV and took her home.  She plopped on the couch while he took Sadie for her walk.

When he got back, it was naptime.  He waited to make sure Sarah made it in the bed okay before getting in himself.  He was surprised to find Sarah facing him this time.

She reached out and pulled him close, kissing him.

Bill hadn’t expected that.

“I’ve mostly forgiven you,” she said.  “And I can truthfully say that I love you.  You’ve gone to so much trouble for me this last two weeks and I have to thank you for that.  I feel like I can trust you with part of me again.”

She leaned in for another kiss, this one open and searching.

God, that felt good.  He’d missed her so.  Now he just needed to concentrate on keeping things chaste… but his body wasn’t listening.

Bill backed away, bent so he could still continue the kiss, but not poke Sarah under the covers.

She wasn’t fooled, though.  “Really?  Even with the way I look today?”

“You could roll in pig muck and I’d still find you beautiful,” Bill said honestly.  “I’m sorry I couldn’t control myself better.”  He concentrated on getting it down.

Sarah messed that up by reaching down to cup him.  “I don’t know if I still work right, but I’m willing to try,” she said.  “If you’re willing to be patient with me.”

Was he ever.  Bill rolled so he was propped up over Sarah.  He kissed her again, more forcefully this time.  Sarah wiggled and pulled her pants down, kicking them off under the covers.

Bill laid back and did the same, pulling off his shirt while he was at it.  When he looked back, Sarah was down to just her bra.

“Do you want to leave that on?” he asked.

Sarah shook her head.

“Then it’s coming off,” he said, reaching underneath her to unhook it.

When they were both completely bare, Bill took a moment, reacquainting himself with Sarah’s body and it looked like she was doing the same for him.  She’d lost weight in the hospital, but had started putting it back on now that she was eating well every day.

She looked gorgeous.

Bill reached down between her legs.  “You tell me to stop and I will,” he said.  “If something hurts or doesn’t feel right, we’ll stop.”

Sarah nodded, biting her lip as he slipped a finger inside her.  When that didn’t seem to hurt, he pushed the covers down and crawled between her legs.  He peppered her thighs with kisses while his fingers danced around her waist and stomach.  She squirmed from the tickling and that just made Bill want to do it more.

He started using his tongue and noticed she was getting wet.  No problems there, then.  He stuck two fingers inside her as he lapped, garnering a moan that went straight to his dick.

He brought Sarah almost to climax, giving his tongue a workout.

“Don’t stop now,” Sarah said desperately.

He didn’t.  Moments later, Sarah writhed on the bed above him.  He kept going until she said “Stop, please stop.”

Bill looked up at her.  “Did that hurt?”

“No,” she said weakly.  “That was _so_ good but I don’t want to be overstimulated.  Because then I won’t be able to stand you inside me.”  She reached down to pull him up on top of her.  “I want you inside me again.”

Bill couldn’t agree more.  He wiped his face and kissed her again, massaging a breast with one hand.  He moved that hand down to position himself.

“Are you ready, babe?”

Sarah nodded, biting her lip.

Bill pushed in slowly, just in case something hurt.  She felt so good around him.  Why had he ever run her off?  Why, when he could have been doing this the whole time?

“Move,” she whispered.

Bill obeyed, pulling back and pushing in, still carefully.

“Faster.”

That was another command Bill was happy to follow.  He kissed her face and her neck and her breasts while he did so.  “You’re so beautiful,” he said, breathless.  “I love you and never should have let you go.  I’m never doing that again.  You’re mine.”

“I’m yours,” Sarah agreed, keening another moan that just encouraged Bill.  “But you’re also mine.”

“Yes, babe.  Oh, babe, I’m yours forever.  Oh, you feel wonderful,” Bill panted.  He could tell he was getting close.  He’d known he wasn’t going to last long: it’d been months and he was extremely turned on.

He came with a loud grunt, pushed his way in as far as he could go, and rode out the orgasm.  He felt bad Sarah hadn’t come again, but he could make that up to her now.

Bill pulled out and reached down to massage her.  It didn’t take long before Sarah’s toes were curling and she cried out, gripping the sheets.  If he could’ve, the sight of her orgasm would have made him hard again right away.

He collapsed half atop her and she wrapped her arms around him, rubbing his back.

“I’d say everything worked,” she joked.

Bill ignored the joke.  He rolled off her and looked her in the eyes.  “I meant what I said.  I’m yours forever, or for as long as you want me.”

“I know,” Sarah said, reaching out to trace his jawline.  “I’m ready to try again, if you are.”

“Refractory period, darlin’,” Bill pointed out.

Sarah swatted him lightly.  “I mean _us_.  As a couple.  But there are stipulations.”

Of course.  “What are they?”

“Obviously you never treat me that way again.”

“Obviously.”

“And I want us to be public.  I don’t want to sneak around again.  I want to hang out with your friends.  I want to make some of my own and have you hang out with us.  I want this to be a real relationship, not an affair.”

“I want that, too.”  Bill paused.  “But you realize what will probably happen at work?”

“Maybe,” Sarah said.  “Maybe the Sheriff will keep us both on.”

Not likely, Bill thought.  “Maybe.  I’ll talk to him Tuesday.  I’d already planned to.”

“Really?”

“Really.  We may not have been physical, but you and I share something that definitely counts as workplace romance.  I wanted to do the right thing this time and get ahead of it.”

Sarah leaned in to kiss Bill again.  “I meant what I said, too.  I do love you.”

 

 

The next two days, they reacquainted themselves with each other’s bodies and tics.  Bill learned some old ones didn’t work on Sarah anymore, but there were new ones to find.

Tuesday and work came far too quickly.

Jimmy asked how things were going and Bill was able to report good news.  “I think spending time with Margaret helped.  I hope Margaret didn’t mind.”

“Margaret mind having help with the kids?” Jimmy laughed.  “No, she loved Sarah, just as we thought she would.”

“I’m talking to the Sheriff today,” Bill said.  “Doing things right this time.”

“Good for you!” Jimmy said enthusiastically.

 

Bill came back after his shift, planning to go straight to the Sheriff, but when he got there, Sarah was already in his office.  Dawes waved him in.

Bill gave Sarah a questioning look and she smiled.

“This young lady tells me the two of you are in a relationship, Bill.”

Nodding, Bill said, “Yes, sir.  We are.”

“And that it’s not a new thing.”

Um.  “No, sir.  Last year…”

Dawes waved at him to be quiet.  “Yes, she told me.  You never approached me then for permission, like you should have.  I probably wouldn’t have given it.  And since that goes against office policy, I’m left with little choice.”

Bill gulped.

“Lucky for you, Sarah has volunteered to quit so that you can keep your job.  I still have to give you an official reprimand, but you don’t have one in your file yet, so you’ll be fine.”

Bill looked at Sarah, wide-eyed.  She shrugged.  “I’m not as good at my job now.  I’ll get one somewhere else.”

Dawes pointed at the newspaper on his desk.  “I hear the library is hiring.  And I _will_ give you a recommendation.”

Bill saw Sarah visibly relax.  She must have been scared she ruined any chance of getting one.

Dawes looked at them both.  “I suppose that’s it.”  He stood and shook Sarah’s hand.  “It was nice working with you.  I hope you’re happier in your next job.”

Sarah nodded.  “Thank you, sir.”

“And Bill?  Come to me next time before you do something stupid.”

 

This time, Sarah waited for Bill to come home.  She met him outside and he wrapped her in a hug in full view of the rest of the apartment complex.  He’d never done that before.

“Thank you,” he said.  “I was prepared to take the fall.  You didn’t need to.”

“But you’re a good deputy.  I wasn’t a good dispatcher anymore.  It made sense.”

Bill held her head against his chest and kissed the top of her head.  “That was brave of you, talking to the Sheriff first.”

“I figured if he’d get mad, he’d get less mad at me.”

“Probably true.”  He pulled back and held her hands.  “Come on.  Let me change and let’s go out to eat together.  A proper date.  And then we’ll work on getting you a new job.”

“The new job can wait ‘til the morning, right?  Because I have other plans tonight.”

Bill quirked an eyebrow.  “Oh you do, do you?”

“Yeah,” Sarah grinned.  “See, there’s this hot guy that lives near me who I hope to have lots of really good sex with tonight.”

Bill squeezed her hands.  “You’ll have to introduce me.”


End file.
